We all have our little addictions – those things we like to collect and hold onto. For some it’s photos; others find comfort in shoes, or cars. Still others collect slights or grudges.
Those who know me well, know that I could easily live in a bookstore. I worked my way through college at a Mom and Pop bookstore, and I can spend hours at a time just looking. On a recent book-a-thon I ran across something that affected me profoundly.
There’s a children’s book can Zen Shorts and it is a collection of good stories with some great messages that have been passed down through the generations.
One of my favorites, and this is my interpretation of it, is about two monks who are near a big puddle. There is a queen who needs to cross the puddle and her helpers are busy carrying all of her belongings so they can’t carry her. She refuses to cross the puddle so the older monk carries her across on his back. When they are safely on the other side, she refuses to thank or acknowledge him.
The two monks continue walking. The younger monk, who has been stewing about what happened for hours, finally can’t hold it in any longer. He mentions the older monk’s disgrace for how the woman treated him and asked why he doesn’t seem upset by it.
The older and wiser monk responds, “I stopped carrying her hours ago and suggest that you do the same.”
We often carry things that keep us stressed and sabotage our success much longer than we should.
An old friend once gave me some great advice packed into four little words: “Just lay it down.”
It’s easier said than done to let the past be the past. When we experience resentment or anger because we think someone insulted or hurt us, we’re holding a grudge. Often we hold on very tightly, for a very long time. This keeps us from dealing with what ever happened and moving on.
Holding grudges holds us back and it’s important to address the root issue to keep old acrimony from tainting future relationships.
One of the biggest problems with grudges is that they color how we interpret the actions and intentions of other people. Ultimately we end up suffering more than the person we’re angry at.
Perhaps the best all-time quote on this topic is said to come from the Buddha: “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
Although we may not be responsible for what happened to us or how other people hurt us, we are entirely responsible for overcoming and getting past the hurt. Getting past a grudge hinges on changing how we think about the events in our lives, and this is where forgiveness comes in.
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Many people in Lincoln County and surrounding counties have expressed their condolences about the results of our recent election here in Barnard. I have been asked if I was angry about it. To be honest, there were plenty of emotions at first...anger was one. I then thought maybe it was a blessing in disguise. Then I came across this article written by Kathryn Stapp and found it to be inspiring.
I saw some disturbing issues and I stood up with two others to do my part. We didn't prevail and the issues won't go away. The future will determine how events will play out, but I did stand up to do my part for the community that I am proud to call home. I can only imagine what was said about me during this campaign, but I also know that I was honest and the future will sort the truths and the untruths.
What I also know is that the above article makes a very valid point..."Lay it down." I know I did the best I could. I know I will continue to live, love, and learn in this community. I also know that in order to do that...I need to "change the things I can, accept the things I cannot, and have the wisdom to know the difference." I will continue to find happiness in my life in Barnard and to do my part to make it a better place. I also will pray that those charged with building its future on a wider scale will build the future based on wise decisions that will insure its survival rather than hasten its demise.
God bless Barnard, Kansas.
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